Takes One to Know One
by Tonami Yui
Summary: With a swarm of hyperactive red-heads throwing fish-guts at dignitaries and rural daimyos, it's a wonder that some country hadn't already declared war on the Uzumaki clan. Now take the clan, an undead defense attorney, a screwed up sense of justice, and hereditary ADHD, and mix to taste. Good luck world. Oc-insert


Morning in Uzushio is surprisingly peaceful.

At 6:40, the first sun's rays rising over the East sea glance off the gentle swell of waves, reflecting shaky lights on the white-washed walls of Uzushio. It's the wonderful time when the people just begin wake up and smells of fresh baked bread perfume the air, mingling with the salty sea air. It's the time when the first calls of early merchants awaken the snoozing patrol ninja, and a time when the night mist gives way for morning dew dotting herbal gardens and tropical plants.

Morning for the Uzukage means a fresh day of being yelled at by a secretary for not completing paperwork.

Morning for active ninja means running missions, taking care of reports, and leading their (brats) students on missions.

Morning for me is being woken by the secretary's yelling, and choking on juice out when my younger cousin Kushina streaks around the house in her underwear, and decides to latch onto my neck with a choke hold. Luckily, it isn't as bad as the time when she poured a whole vat of sake from rice country into her uncle's (my father's) mid-day meal.

It turns out, even being an Uzumaki hokage doesn't make much of a difference when the alcohol content is about 90%.

After quite a few embarrassing love confessions, an infuriated female population, and several jounin or ANBU laughing their asses off; by the looks of it, the hangover seemed even worse…

I have to peel the mini sea-spout of destruction off my neck, and hold her by the scruff of her clothing before she can attempt to chomp her teeth into my arm.

"NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiIIii-san~lemegolemegolemegolemego~ Demon brother! Demon brother! Let! ME! GO!."

Kushina is scrambling wildly around in the air, her red hair flailing about as she manages to plant a foot into my cheek.

The snort of laughter from the corner of the kitchen is even more aggravating than before, and I have to fight to not launch a kunai at the source.

"Dad. Please collect your-"

"Amazingly cute and adorable and awesome and-"

"Agonizingly annoying and aggravating niece."

A head of matchingly blazing red hair drops from the ceiling, and snatches my cousin (the beast) from my grip before turning to face me.

Uzumaki Bofumaru is the stocky, wide shoulders defying the generally slim-looking Uzumaki genetics. His rugged looking face is somewhat haggard from the scolding (Rio-san is the best secretary. EVER) and lack of sleep as he holds the little scoundrel upside down.

"Dad! Why! I had the beast under control!"

Cuddled up in my father's grasp, Kushina is quick to send me a raspberry before flipping me the bird.

Sputtering doesn't even begin to describe my reaction-until something seems to smack against the fuuinjutsu coated window. The muffled "sorry, was just testing something", is ignored in favor of scooping up last night's leftovers from the trash, and chucking them out the said window. It hits bullseye.

The man slowly scrapes off the putrid rotting fish ovaries from his face and hair, and I'm able to catch a glimpse of a frowning Sarutobi Hiruzen.

Shit.

Slowly closing the window and backing away, I share a look with Kushina. Sitting on my father's shoulders, she's high enough to see out the window above me. She grins devilishly in my father's arms.

"Hii-nii's in trouble~ Hii-nii's in trouble~."

Evil little kid.

"Hiirage. Who was that?"

Swallowing nervously, my legs slowly shuffle me to the door leading outside.

"A man…"

Bofumaru's friendly blue eyes narrow, and he blocks the door with his body.

"how important was he?"

"Pretty important."

"Foreign negotiator?"

"maybe."

"Important person?"

"Yeah…."

"Who was it?"

"It may be the Hokage…"

"I'm feeling generous today. You have a five second head start Hiirage-"

I'm already out the door and running.


End file.
